Whenever my wife did not give me a bite of her gourmet sandwich when I asked her to do so in front of friends
I felt frustrated, disappointed, furious, sad, ashamed, embarrassed, hungry, confused, disconnected, unloved
because it was a reasonable request for a husband to make to his wife, it looked like a really good sandwich that I wanted to taste, there was no way we were going to return to the store so I could purchase my own, I do not want to make a big deal of it in front of our friends, we do not look like a very close couple to our friends, my wife does not love me the way I want to be loved in this moment, she does not understand how much sharing food means to me, I would always share my food and more with her without question, I do not understand why she is choosing to deny my request
and responded by forcing her to give me a bite of her sandwich, pressuring her with my words and actions to comply with my request, asking the same question and giving reasons for why several times, showing agitation
which caused her to feel taken advantage of or forced to do something that she does not want to do, to feel that her boundaries are breached or that her words mean nothing to me, tension in the relationship and house, awkwardness in front of friends, loss of reputation
However, maybe she does not think as I do and needs more communication ahead of time, maybe it’s a good thing that she does not comply easily with my requests, maybe this challenges me to grow in my communication skills when feeling frustrated, maybe she has good reasons for denying my request, maybe she is reacting to past situations in the present situation, maybe she does love me but prefers to show it in other ways, maybe my friends appreciate us being vulnerable and transparent with our disagreements, maybe we will learn something from this experience, maybe I could ask her questions regarding why she is denying my request, maybe it’s okay to not have a taste of the sandwich, maybe I can establish a bite or taste ahead of time while at the store, maybe I can show some restraint in response to my cravings, maybe God is challenging me to find a better way to resolve tension, maybe God is wanting me to spend some time reflecting on what happened with him, maybe there are bigger problems in the world to focus on and get frustrated with, maybe I could let my wife know that I was returning to the store in order to get a bite of the sandwich, maybe I am not losing reputation but gaining an opportunity to demonstrate maturity in handling the situation tenderly